A new kind of exercise?

So, for those who don't know, I am proudly owned by a 6 year old ginormous yellow lab, a fat 8 year old orange and white cat, and our newest addition, a 10 week old wild-child kitten. All is well most of the time. Boomer, the ginormous lab, takes Crack Kitty's shenanigans in stride with a long-suffering, resigned attitude. Suzie is not so forgiving, but appreciates Crack Kitty's leftovers. Suzie's been on a diet for 2 years, and just like me, struggles with her roundness. But the real exercise for me comes twice a day. However, I am becoming somewhat more expert at it. You see, mealtimes are a real scramble, as kitten wants everybody else's food. SO, first I feed Suzie. Since she only gets 1/4 cup of food twice a day of incredibly expensive diet food, she is fed up in the office with the door closed. Sounds easy, right? Well, you see, I first have to make it up the stairs without stepping on/tripping over the two felines. Suzy, who still has one partially paralyzed leg and who is obese, can't make it up the stairs as fast as Bella the Evil. Bella, on the other hand, makes it her aim in life to trip me in hopes of getting Suzie's food as it rains down on her. As I make it to the office and pour the few nuggets of food that Suzie is allowed, I simultaneously scoop up Crack Kitty just as she reaches the food dish. Suzie waddles in, and I close the door as I leave while carrying a sqirming, struggling kitten. Whew. One down, two to go. So, I look down the stairs and there's Boomer, peering upstairs hopefully with the most wistful, pathetic expression on his face. Let me remind you that Boomer is the BIG man on this campus and he's always been fed first. So, I go into the kitchen and pick up his empty food dish. I turn to the bag of "healthy and lean" food (yep, he's on a diet too), fill his two cup bowl, and, after stepping on either a paw or tail of Bella the Evil One causing her to poof up into one furry ball of indignation. This happens twice a day. You'd think she'd know to stay away from the very tall person's feet! So, after swearing (not necessarily under my breath) at the stupid kitten, I place Boomer's food dish on the floor. At the same time, I scoop up the speedy Miss Bella, who then scratches and protests indignantly. FINALLY it's time to get her food. So, with Bella squirming in one hand, I pick up her bowl and (this is the fun part) hold it in the same hand with which I'm restraining her. With my right hand, I reach into HER bag of food and grab a handful. As she squirms and mews in protest, I deftly (okay, clumsily) dump most of my handful of kibble into her little bowl. Now I have one empty hand. The other holds Bella the Beautiful Evil One AND her little blue bowl of food. She WANTS the food. SO, I drop her, trip on her, and place the bowl on the floor with whatever food has not fallen out as she struggled to get free or get to her bowl in my hand. Then I put her down. She is THRILLED!! Mommy put her down. Goody, goody!!! Her stomach will soon be full! She races to the bowl. Mommy chases after her. Bad Bella - that's Boomer's food. So, I put her in front of her food dish. She obediently puts her head into the bowl. Boomer is gulping his kibble. All is quiet, so I go up to let Suzie out, as she's done. She moves like lightning DOWN the stairs. I didn't know a partially paralyzed cat could move so swiftly. I follow. She tears into the kitchn. Boomer's ginormous body is blocking me. Oh no!! So I select the alternate route through the living room. I'm moving as quickly as possible, dodging kitty toys, doggy bed, and whatever objects the males in the family have left on the floor. I race into the kitchen. There's Suzie. She sees me and I hear the crunching increase threefold and then stop. She's now inhaling the kibble, desperately trying to finish it before Mommy reaches her. Crack Kitty, who raced upstairs in search of the expensive diet food, has now come back down, disappointed. She wants her food. Not to eat. To gloat. I put the dish up. And wait for the next time I have to perform this demented ballet.